Hello! Happy April!
About a week ago I attended a panel with writers from the forthcoming anthology Disability Intimacy, which was moderated by the editor Alice Wong. The writers talked about consumerist self-care versus the deep nurturing of our neglected parts. They mentioned the mainstream reduction of intimacy, which has had me thinking a lot about the relationship between intimacy and privacy.
The modern world has cheapened our privacy in a lot of ways. Intimacy feels like one of those pure, precious places that has persevered through commodification and modernization, much like a library. Intimacy feels similar to touching the pages of a well-read book, a place I can burrow into when I want to escape the throes of a constantly exposed world. Yet, somehow, intimacy feels like it exposes the truest parts of my inner world. Within a landscape where choice feels threatened, intimacy allows us to choose who we reserve our most tender feelings for; how much we fold back the layers and reveal ourselves.
Intimacy is often boiled down to physical contact between lovers and/or romantic partners but this sacred experience has a much wider, deeper breadth. Some types of intimacy include: emotional, physical, mental, experiential. Experiential can mean feeling closeness from trying something new together. I see vulnerability as the thread woven through all of these types.
Intimacy is the experience of wanting closeness with self or other; the necessary skin contact between child and parent; the way friends ask are you ok? because they know you well enough to know that something seems off; the ways we hold each other, physically and emotionally; choosing who we self-disclose parts of our heart to based on trust and safety; the way we tenderly care for someone who is sick; the ways we let someone in, despite knowing that they’ll someday see the rawest, most private parts of us; the way we take risks when we love and when we receive someone’s love.
Intimacy is brave. Take the word ‘heart’: corazón in Spanish » coeur in French » cor in Latin. These all take us to the English word courage. It takes courage to bear witness to someone’s heart; to let your heart be truly seen.
In sex ed book club we often talk about extending intimacy to friendships and other platonic relationships. This ongoing conversation has inspired me to choose Ace by Angela Chen for our next book (more info below!). Engaging with asexuality has shown me how vast intimacy, attraction, and desire can be. This graphic is a great illustration of that:
Memberships start at only $15/month and you can try it out FREE for a week. The library has over 300 classes on it now :’) and you can search by style, length, or focus (i.e. part of the body). Browse the library now!
✰ Preview of class:
✰ What people are saying:
✰ Our next book is Ace by Angela Chen:
📅 Mark your calendars! Virtual Sex Ed Book Club is on April 23rd at 3pm EST.
In-person Sex Ed Book Club is on April 25th at 6pm EST. Email me for details [reply directly to this letter or sarah@sarahdiedrick.com]
✰You do not have to read the whole book to join. Read what you can — or try and even just research asexuality a bit — and come to talk and listen, just listen, learn, and be in the space however feels best for you! I promise there will be no pop quizzes. The book just gives us some structure and discussion points :)
Photos + feedback from our last in-person gathering, which was INCREDIBLY special and sweet and fulfilling ☁︎
xoxo Sarah ♡︎
⋆·˚ email: sarah@sarahdiedrick.com