Exploring Erotic Imagination
When the creative and carnal co-exist
“Eroticism is the broad expanse of our imagination that allows us to feel free amidst constriction and confinement.” - Esther Perel
Esther Perel designates eroticism as the antidote to death. The word erotic has ties with the word desire and I like to think of my own eroticism as that which desires to come alive; that which energizes the most unwavering parts of myself. I see my eroticism as a lightness of being that is ever-present under the weight of worry and self-limitation.
In her formative work Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power, Audre Lorde writes:
When I speak of the erotic, then, I speak of it as an assertion of the life force of women; of that creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our loving, our work, our lives.”
Lately I’ve been feeding my erotic imagination by writing my own erotica. Exploring my sexuality in a creative way has felt expansive, refreshing, and playful. It’s a way to preserve sexual and sensual moments/interactions that have inspired me and reminded me of that bottomless life force Audre Lorde speaks of. It allows me to honor the artistic beauty of sensuality and this body that moves so boldly and tenderly through the world. It positions my body as a living work of art with thousands of moving parts that breathe and circulate life through me.
Here’s an excerpt from a piece I wrote. This part, in particular, felt fun to write because it was focused on building sexual anticipation and tension:
I could feel myself entering a different mode. My eyelids grew heavier, my body softened, and my voice entered that calm, sensual state it does when I’m opening up to someone.
He looked down and started rubbing his foot against mine. As he slid his hands to my lower back, I moved in closer, between his open thighs, and buried my face in his neck. He smelled like pine. Our hands began to glide up and down each other’s bodies, the heat between us building. My breath became heavy with hunger.
This exploration of writing erotica has helped me explore other avenues of my sensual self through: sexy selfies, dance, reading erotic poetry, stopping to notice the abundance that’s right here (for example, effulgent flower bushes and the first bite of a plump, juicy berry).
It has felt invigorating to discover how my creative expression and sexuality can co-exist. Writing erotica helps me celebrate the loving ways I touch other bodies; the vulnerable moments when I ask for what I want; the tingling thrill of hearing my own voice flirt or talk dirty; the finer details that are teased out and embellished to create a furious, fictional scene; the awakening of my wanting.
All We Know of Pleasure is one of my favorite erotica compilations to draw from. The poetry inside has helped me discover words, phrases and metaphors that stir something up in me. It has given me a new appreciation for the vitality that sex, pleasure, and connection can offer. Here’s an excerpt from one of my favorite poems in the anthology. It’s called Attraction by Enid Shomer:
The whites of his eyes
pull me like moons.
He smiles. I believe
his face. Already
my body slips down in the chair:
I recline on my side,
offering peeled grapes.
I can taste his tongue
in my mouth
whenever he speaks.
And another by Katherine Riegel, titled Directions:
His breath
is heavy and his teeth
graze my clavicle but he listens
with his whole body, he touches
soft until I am slick and then
he keeps touching soft because
that is what I want.
I’m excited to share this poetry and practice with you in my upcoming workshop, Dirty Talk & Sexual Communication. This virtual class will be a space to read erotic poetry, explore a glossary of words and phrases to add to your erotic vocabulary, and sharpen your communication skills inside and outside of the bedroom. You can read more about what’s in store here but I hope to see you on May 25th for a creative, playful experience! If you can’t make it live, the workshop will be recorded and sent out the next day.
Other news:
Read my recent interview with Her Narrative Collective on my work and practice around pleasure.
Our current Sex Ed Book Club read is Wanting: Women Writing About Desire. We’ll be meeting June 1st to discuss it. I’ll be back with more details but for now mark your calendars and order the book if you plan on joining!